Why?

Because no method will work if the people involved don’t want to resolve the conflict. In most cases, the positions are so entrenched that no one is willing to compromise, let alone meet halfway.

How many times have we seen mediators step in with their toolkits filled with theories and techniques? It almost always fails. Why? Because you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help. Just like you can’t teach someone who doesn’t want to learn or treat someone who doesn’t want treatment.

So, What’s the Solution?

To resolve a conflict, you have to start at the right place: with the people. It’s not about forcing solutions, issuing ultimatums, or applying authoritarian leadership. It’s about igniting the will—the inherent drive within every individual to approach the conflict and foster change.

How Do We Do That?

The key lies in focusing on the individuals, not the conflict itself. Using techniques like Motivational Interviewing allows us to connect with people in a way that truly works.

This approach has been my guiding principle for over 40 years of working with people, and I can confidently say it’s the only approach I’ve seen successfully break through entrenched positions.

So, the next time you’re facing a conflict, forget about the methods. Start by unlocking the will. That’s where real transformation begins.

Have a brilliant day!

– Ulf Lidman