Those of us who have experienced power imbalances, bullying, or other traumas must first process our experiences before we can lead others in a healthy way. Otherwise, we risk unconsciously seeking revenge or letting our wounds dictate our decisions.
My mentor saw this and challenged me. At first, I was upset, but over time, the realization grew. I understood that if I wanted to be a great leader, I needed to recognize how my past had shaped me. We cannot lead others if we have not first led ourselves toward healing and self-awareness.
As a leadership consultant, I have met many leaders who abuse their power. More often than not, they carry unprocessed experiences. They are not bad people – they have blind spots. Once they become aware of this, real transformation can happen.
What helped me become a better leader was a mentor who truly saw me and built a relationship with me. Change cannot be forced from the outside – it must come from within.
The high-achieving girl or boy seeking constant validation, the narcissist protecting their ego, the person who always shifts blame, the rule-follower afraid to take responsibility – the list goes on. We all have something to work through before we can become truly great leaders. Facing ourselves requires courage, but it is essential for sustainable and authentic leadership.
Dare to face yourself so you can lead others better.
Have a brilliant day!
Ulf Lidman
